“Toxic” — fashionable in modern pop-psychology word. Usually “toxic” is called something with a double bottom. In family relations it is possible to speak about the signs of a toxic family when the love and care from relatives are destructive. Under the guise of care committed psychological abuse, and “love” causes only suffering. We sort and must maintain good relations with close people, but really, apart from the negative emotions and frustration, nothing more than that do not get.
5 signs of a toxic family
1. Bad emotional climate
The constant squabbles and conflicts. The family is not satisfied with the basic needs for psychological security. Your personal boundaries are always someone being violated. You or themselves involved in any conflict; quarrel or near loved ones, each of which tries to attract you to their side as an ally.
2. Domestic violence is the norm
By “violence” we mean a variety of things: from brute physical violence, to quite subtle, associated with verbal aggression (criticism, accusations, “lecturing”, as the humor). Violence often takes the form of a strict “family Charter”, consisting of numerous prohibitions and oughts. Any deviation from the rules should be severely punished.
3. The family does not respect your uniqueness and autonomy
You had a family role or set of roles, and the rest not valued. Family little interested in who you are beyond, it is important only that within the family you would “behave properly”.
4. Family is extremely important the issue of status and power
The power of the “head of household” is usually based on power and fear, but also on knowledge of the “weaknesses” of each family member. Psychological vulnerability — it’s like the strings for which will necessarily pull, driving you like a puppet, if “head of household” will need control over you.
5. Family decided to gossip and say nasty things about each other
Bad talking and face and behind your back. Also the norm is to assert themselves at your expense, talking to outsiders about what’s wrong with you. Have toxic parents usually have a set of incriminating stories about your child in style: “Remember how you screwed up when you were N years…”. Similar stories usually are part of the “parental programming”, inspiring you that you are fine and the future would be bad.
In conclusion we can say that the “toxicity” of his family can recognize only grown-up children. To create such a family parents “toxicity”, alas, is the norm. And for children the only normal way out is separation, that is separation from this family.