A breakup is always stressful. Regardless of who was the initiator of the break, one way or another to survive will be both. Parting can be different reasons. Of course, most often it happens because of very serious reasons: cheating, domestic violence, a lie. But it often happens that the problem was ignored, the dialogue did not, the insults were saved, and one of the partners could not resist. Exploded, slammed the door, broke it off seemingly forever. Time passes, and this scenario begins to seem like not only right. Someone wants to go someone wants to return. But both wonder whether it is necessary to give a second chance for the relationship or is it the proverbial river’t need to go again?
In some cases, absolute “no”
In any family (any relationship) to happen . This daily and that’s fine.
Absolutely unacceptable violence in any of its manifestations. For violence has no reason or explanation. This is not the norm, it speaks of certain mental disorders.
Violence is trespassing and he can be neither excuses nor explanations. And Yes – violence can be repeated, as you would not want to believe in “perception and regret”. The fact that domestic violence is a serious reason for that second chance for a relationship not to give.
Gambling, drugs, alcohol. If you broke up for this reason, this is also worth a stop. You yourself can not cope, in such cases need expert advice, it often is about codependency.
It is hardly necessary to give the relationship a second chance if your partner, in an effort to return you absolutely is not going to listen and concede. You broke up because of the inability to communicate and compromise. Unlikely to come together again in the same tone.
And of course, a second chance for a relationship is something that should be taken seriously and responsibly. If your partner believes that this kind of swing and attitude can tear down and build up as cakes in the sandbox, you are definitely not on the road.
When possible Yes
The first thing to do after a breakup is to slow down. Take the time to think about a situation, don’t rush themselves either to return or to return. This kind of “grounding”, help the psyche in a stressful situation, to include protective mechanisms and come out with minimal losses.
It is also important to understand that the relationship will not start from the point of your separation. This is not life, paused. During the time while you were not together, you both have changed. And only by accepting this fact, you can try to build anew.
Yes it is possible if:
- There is a desire to change. It arises after realizing the error. After a breakup, any person analyzes the actions and makes certain findings. Change is a chance to turn life for the better.
- There is an important experience of loss. Yes, it is about “that we do not store”. After going through the loss, the person begins to appreciate and seek to protect what he has. Family, friends, happy moments, traditions and way of life – all this becomes suddenly not so familiar, the everyday, and takes on great meaning. When this shift occurs, people are more sensitivity refers to the whole that he had once lost.
- The correction of errors. A million times after a breakup, after analyzing their actions, the reaction of the partner, realizing mistakes, we learn to fix them faster and better.
What to do to make this work
So, time passed, you settled down, exhaled, and decided that this relationship you need. Regardless of who makes the first step, both partners need to accept and understand some things.
- You need to take that “second chance for a relationship” does not mean that everything will be perfect. Yes, you were wounded and therefore cautious and delicate. But it’s not a guarantee that everything will work out. May not be so, without giving specific reasons. Remember that while you were not together, you’ve changed? So just accept the fact that anything can happen. This will allow you to adequately accept any result.
- Be patient. You and your partner do not become suddenly perfect after all the thinking, samopoznanie and out of the comfort zone. Both of you may continue to make mistakes and continue. In the way of reunification, you also can not understand and do not hear each other. So the best thing to do is to show each other patience.
- Remember the bad. Even if you quit and really want to caustically remind. It is very important to understand the difference between “to keep in silence the wrongs” and “to let go of resentments”. In fact, that you’ve been shot already. It is necessary to develop, articulate and let go. The worst is not to be afraid. Is not scary, because you have a great chance to get it right.
- Relationship is work. This work is joint development, is an interesting way with mistakes and compromises, but most importantly, this path together. Now you begin useful experience on the bugs. First and foremost is the work on the bugs of their own. This time of analysis and self-knowledge. Now is the time to work out all the willpower, patience, the ability to understand and accept. Deciding on a second chance, remember that now your relationship is very fragile. And only in your power to make them strong and healthy.
- Invent a new one. A change of scenery is a powerful aid and a resource for the future. Invent and make something together. Keep your partner when he offers you anything. It doesn’t have to be an extreme vacation or change of residence. A date, a joint hobby, a short trip off the cuff – even what seems a trifle, plays in favor of your relationship.
Human relations is a big gift. To break and lose them quickly. But it should be understood that the path of relations is not simple.