Around love relationships are huge number of myths of popular psychology. We will debunk some of them. To live with illusions is nice only at first and then very hurt.
1. The myth of a decent partner
Each of us dreams about the ideal. The trouble is that in the romantic period under the influence of the hormonal storm, we see ourselves, a loved one and our relationship with him as unreal, illusory giving them special status. In fact, the ideal partner is someone who accepts your imperfection for individuality. Someone who understands that a man with flaws love is necessary but not sufficient; I must also endure.
2. The myth of all-consuming love
Many believe that the love you need to give yourself. Carefully not noticing that all-consuming love absorbs “less” of the partners. This one satisfies my appetite, and the second is the desire to be absorbed. The strongest alliances occur when partners have a common love for one of them. However, these relations cannot be called happy and full. This dependent relationship.
3. The myth of the serious intentions
One side is always a serious commitment, and other expectations. As without it? A “real man” should, by definition. Love as a state is able to quickly get rid of it a wealthy man. A list of his debts every woman is depending on the needs and fantasies. Fortunately, these debts are pleasant.
4. The myth of the sense of duty
A constant sense of duty in relationships can lead eventually to burnout. And there it is – or to Church, or a therapist, or in the pool… But most people just turn off the sensitivity. If loved ones cannot influence, they are free, including from the vicinity. Slave love squirts out of the marital debt, drop by drop, and squeezing and becoming completely free, is no longer needed by your partner. He was interesting only in an interdependent relationship. Such a reliable, conservative people would never allow to change myself, or you.
5. The myth of the eternal relations
In the same way as in physics, the relationship of the inventors of perpetual motion love are those who do not recognize the laws of physics. Lifetime warranty on the perpetual motion machine can only give one, who does not know the laws of love. People cannot love if he does not have a right “not to love”. Once you deprive the partner of freedom, your relationship is already a dependency, not love.