You may remember that in elementary school girls and boys usually play in different groups. Girls (and boys) are also usually sitting in class at a Desk with same-sex friends and same-sex play groups on the Playground. Almost always the best friends of children by same-sex peers. This trend persists and permeates our adult lives and may negatively affect romantic relationships. Quite often, the reasons for which the partner is not ready to discuss existing problems originates from childhood. How to talk a partner who does not wish to confront me? More about this will tell the family psychologist Olga Romaniv.
The gender specialists call these segregated by gender groups separate worlds and emphasize the importance of socialization peers outside of gender borders. Understanding between the sexes is formed at the early stages of development. Parents and other adults also play a big role in socializing children and shaping their behavior.
However, the socialization more often occurs in same-sex groups of peers. Through this process, girls and boys learn to interact with their peers differently and usually feel comfortable in these different styles of interaction. Hence in adult life originates from a common problem when one or both partners prefer to talk about relationships with friends, but not with each other.
Gender differences in talking about a very strong. The greater tendency of women to talk to friends about their problems developing in primary school and persists into adulthood. Often the girls formed the expectation that disclosure of information is an integral component of intimacy, and the boys have expectations that disclosure is not as necessary, and sends both sexes to disappointment in relationships.
How to talk? Start a conversation correctly!
Once you have taken responsibility for the harmonisation of communication in the relationship in your hands, start to communicate to your partner the importance of the discussion of what is happening in your pair. It may sound like this: “I love you and I’m sorry that you’re closed when I raise some topics. But I also want to have a close and continuing relationship. But if we continue to gloss over many things, our relationship can be broken. Between us the gap will appear. Our communication can help both of us”.
Respect personal space and don’t push
If your partner reacts negatively to your calls to talk, he may just not have enough personal space. Even in the beginning of the relationship in the presence of such symptoms should be immediately set boundaries. You need to speak to each other that you can do, and what not to do.
Everyone needs personal space and this need should be respected. If you are used to invade the personal space of your partner, even romantic intentions and to break the boundaries regularly, the irritation will accumulate daily until the crash. This is an important point that requires special sensitivity and patience from both women and men. They have to learn to feel when the partner needs time alone, when to give him a break and not to meddle in his Affairs and thoughts and so on. Without it, you and your partner will be each other is simply irritating and over time, relationships can crack.
To contact the therapist
If your partner is still locked from talking and can not give, you can make an appointment with the psychologist and in a preliminary conversation to describe the situation. Fear not, quite often such problems are solved in one or two sessions. In couples therapy a good specialist will certainly show you the way of communication suitable to both spouses and will help to open up to each other.
If your partner rejects any suggestion you have tried all ways but still don’t know how to talk it, you should consult a physician. You can schedule an appointment for individual therapy, if the husband does not want to go with you. In any case, the specialist will give you the appropriate keys.