For advice asked the girl who can not understand the relationship with her boyfriend. With burning eyes she begins to talk about her boyfriend, about how much she loves him and how she dreams about every new conversation with him. Thus their relationship is purely Platonic – they like to walk together and chat, but in addition to talking and completely innocent and nothing more happens. Her main question: “or He just really loves me?”.
A girl unsure of her feelings, but the behavior of the guy she knows is bad. “The expression on his face is something difficult to understand. He is a man very quiet and reserved. When looking at me, every time I get lost if he just observes, whether there is some admiration and approval in his eyes.”
Ask, what signs of attention she is having.
“Oh, nothing special. In the movie, invited, in the cafe went together (though paid chipped). A couple of times even flowers were given on some holidays. But similar marks of attention, he not only has me. He has quite a lot of girls friends, he towards him did the same. I’m no exception”.
Wondering on what topics they usually talk.
“In principle it’s easy for me with him any topic to discuss. But in General we have common interests and Hobbies. For example, music. That’s about the music (further mentions the names of several favorite bands) we often say”.
…Just want to warn you that “true love” thing is very individual, and to judge other people’s relationships is very difficult. But here’s what we discussed at the consultation.
1. The expression of emotions on the face
Expressiveness (language of the body and facial expressions) all people have developed in different ways. The actors, for example, there is a special gymnastics for the face and exercises to develop the facial expressions. That is why they are able to Express emotions so that to distinguish love from hatred is possible, even sitting on the last row in the theater.
But most ordinary people’s facial expressions is not as developed. So if every time you met in person acquaintance you do not see the expression of exuberant joy, mad with delight and heavenly love, it does not mean that he/she doesn’t like you. Conclusion: to determine the language of the body, loves you or not, is not always!
This is much more reliable criterion. No wonder they say that strong love encourages people to commit insane acts. This is partly true: if we love a person, then believe that it is special and ready for him to do special things. Signs of attention to your loved one are unique and not like all his friends.
Common interests and the common interests we usually discuss it with friends. Love communication is usually different from just a friendly more depth and intimacy. What does it mean? In a conversation with a loved one we are not afraid to discuss (and get pleasure from discussion) the three topics.
Three themes that we are not afraid to discuss with your loved one
1. Your inner world
Talk about music, sports, common acquaintances – it is talking about something external. You can spend hours talking about the weather, but did not reveal his inner world, to manifest as a personality with its own special character, beliefs, values, feelings, experience.
Truly the lover of the human need for intimacy with us. And for this he is ready to self-disclosure – i.e., ready to share their innermost thoughts and feelings. In response to this self-disclosure we reveal ourselves, which leads to the formation of mutual trust. As if the lovers are immersed into the inner world of each other, be soul mates. Friends and friendship, such a depth is not required.
2. His own life story
Here we are talking not just about listing the facts of the biography. Our personal story is primarily an emotional experience, a series of joys and sorrows. To share (brag) quite easily with anyone, but to discuss past failures, the crises and breakdowns we can only with the closest people. For example, young couples often share their inner problems from their parental families, in the process of discussion by providing psychological assistance to each other.
Usually this stage is when people begin to share the most intimate and bitter memories, is mandatory in the development of a love relationship. If we are not willing to share with a loved one its past, particularly negative, or a loved one clearly avoids contact on such topics, it means that we’re not that close.
3. Our future together
In family psychology there is a term “image of the future together”, which is an essential prerequisite for lasting and happy relationship. If we are talking about true love in the early stages, it means that we can’t imagine their future without each other, we like to dream together and build joint plans for the future. These plans can be a year or two ahead, and can be for life.
Sometimes as a joke, but seriously most couples start to discuss how many children they give birth where and in what house they will live, how you will spend the evenings together, weekends, holidays. Sometimes draw a picture of the “ideal family dinner” or “we’re the world’s best grandparents that babysit a bunch of grandchildren.” Fantasies about the future can be anything, as long as they were positive, and in those fantasies you were together. But if someone of the partners is uncomfortable to visualize and discuss these pictures, there is hardly possible to speak about true love.