How hurt destroys relationships or where love goes

How hurt destroys relationships or where love goes

  • Parallel is a transaction in which a stimulus coming from one person, directly supplemented by the reaction of the other. For example, the stimulus: “what time is it?”, response: “quarter to six”. In this case, the interaction occurs between people in the same ego-States (Adult).
  • Intersecting – direction of the stimulus and response overlap, these transactions are the basis for scandals. For example, the husband asks: “Where’s my tie?”, wife responds with irritation: “I always have you to blame!”. The incentive in this case is directed from Adult to Adult husband wife, and the response comes from the Child wife Parent husband.
  • Hidden – these transactions occur when people say one thing but meant quite another. In this case, spoken words, tone of voice, facial expression, gestures and attitudes often at odds with each other. For example, a man on a date offers a woman to go to his house to watch a movie or read a book (adult-Adult), passionately kissing her at the same time (Child-Child). Hidden transactions are the basis for the development of psychological games.

Love and resentment

Now let’s get back to resentment and what happens when it occurs between partners.

So, intimacy or openness with a partner and desire to discover it is a parallel transaction between the Natural Children of both partners.

It is believed that over time, the desire to be open with your partner and be fascinated eats other life, although eating them is not a way of life, and the guilt and resentment. And the one who is offended begins to destroy these are important to both partners of the relationship.

The offense is not allows you to bond with your partner – like already and the body is ready and socially acceptable to get close, but resentment and pride is not allowed to happen to this convergence: why?

Resentment is anger at another for something that he is not behaving in accordance with our expectations! That is, resentment is the feeling of the manipulator for the fact that the other did not succumb to his manipulation.

In this manipulation it is expected that the other should feel guilty through which “offended” and get what we really want: “compliant” partner.

And if the other is not willing to be obedient to the manipulator is even more offended, increases their resentment, i.e. anger at the partner for his freedom and independence.

And then the offended person has the final ultimatum: and does he appreciate me? And repels the partner, even if the body that is the Natural Child wants to be with him (and this is evident from the body)!

But manipulation is more important: if the partner did not succumb – he left, he “goat”, and if not gone, then the manipulator stops internally to respect him: and his Natural Child is not interested in it because another is not acting out of his desire to be with him, and from his guilt.

And in that and in other case, this intimacy is the end, but the manipulator receives a “power” – it is about such relationships say they destroyed a way of life – although it’s not in the home, and the resentment and guilt – the desire to control your partner.

And you know those relationships?