As often happens in the real and virtual life — like some men, and attract others! What is the reason? Discuss and decide this issue on the example of one of the heroines of my transmission — Julia. She’s 32, she’s a psychologist from Chelyabinsk. Conducts an active way of life, practices yoga and loves travelling. Meets with young people in social networks. Thinks men see her as just a mistress. Came to me with a question: “How to behave to get married?”
According to her, fans of her very much. But are attracted somehow not the same men. For example, one she liked, she gave me your phone number, offered to meet, he agreed, but suddenly disappeared. And the other which was not to her liking, she literally begins to chase and “get” in all ways. Julia does not understand what she had done wrong, attracting the unwanted attention of the knights from the Network?
It will bother most girls. It would seem that they are beautiful and interesting, the men sink to their data. Then interest is lost. In addition to external data still need to have a girlfriend? I offered my character to play a scene where I play the role of the men who are impressed by her. We seem to live in different cities, so let’s get acquainted by correspondence in social networks. (The letter “M” denote the Man, and the letter “s” — Julius).
All. End of story. The PROBLEM of the HEROINE: if communication is not proactive and interest in the personality of the virtual friend, it keeps a man from pursuing Dating.
I told Julia what she’s doing wrong and how best to build a conversation: “are You when you communicate with a man, create him desire to communicate with you further.
When you talk to him, just answering questions. Not trying to excite his curiosity, though they are a interesting girl. Your presentation worse than you really are. The feeling that you’re wearing a mask. And the man wears a mask. He is not interested to communicate with you.
Every word you say as if placed on the scales. Either you encourage the interest, or, conversely, reduce. When the gentleman asks you questions, you should at least balance the chances, to seem an interesting person. Must be able to inspire.
And every time you do something or say should at least be a step closer to victory, for a man to consider a relationship with you as a long-term. Not enough to have just the beauty, grace, must be able to — then the young man will be at your feet.
Repeat the same dialogue under my instruction. The greeting she said “hi”. This is a mistake. Was not made the investment. For the flattering comment “beautiful picture” Julia just thanked. And she had to demonstrate your intellectual rating (ratings I’ll tell you at the end of the book. — P. R.). It was necessary to answer so that the man wanted to ask a question on this subject, and not panic thinking — how else can you maintain a conversation? So she puts the man in an awkward position, and he is experiencing discomfort. So after a conversation with her, he fled, closing the computer.
Every question she just pushed the man. Especially when I started to try to find out what he’s doing. And during the conversation it was already not interested in talking, because the conversation was beginning to take shape questioning. He might even yet and didn’t want to talk about his work, because he has not involved with a girl.
Need to learn how to create interest! I offered Julia the second experiment, during which she will suggest the answer. And she is going to choose anyone, it will seem correct, or suggest your version. Her goal is to show your intellect that it is interested in successful men. After all, if the man does not pay attention to your data, you understand why he considers…
So, what conclusions did Julia? “Must be creative and original questions — reported my ward, or smart, or funny. And I really liked that the conversation can take place in the form of the game. Therefore, it is better to remove seriousness. If you start to play it and then continue”.
And rightly so! I must remember that a mild condition of the game. Communication with man is not hard work, and fun and exciting!
At the end of our experiments, I asked Julia to appear in a new way — a student who is renting me the exam. She asked the same questions, and she answered creative.
Now imagine that you don’t just meet the partner on the Internet, and play with him in some fantasy film or a fairy tale. Your hair fluttering in the wind, you are all light, airy, interesting, love yourself, love the world. (I sent to Julia fan, so she has created the appropriate mood.)
In the end, Julia is still a little too far. You can’t do that. But she remembered the inner light and playful as that is supposed to accompany her during the conversation with the virtual partner. When the girl takes off all her clips, she is an interesting conversationalist, able to attract the man of your dreams.
Be original, creative and proactive when communicating with a man — it will certainly interest him and make him continue the acquaintance already in real space.
A fragment of the book “How to find love through Instagram. Flirting on the Internet and not only.” Paul Rakov. — Moscow : Publishing house AST, 2019.