One of the important components of a harmonious couple relationships is intimacy. Sex has a beneficial effect on emotional and physical health. When an active sex life, the level of immunoglobulin is maintained at a high level. Normalizes blood circulation that affects many body systems – the blood is saturated with oxygen, improves memory, increases efficiency of the brain. Advantages of regular sex life do not require proof. But what to do and what happens when sex is absent? Is there life without sex? So if everything is bad and hopeless, if the circumstances are such that there is no proper sexual schedule you have?
Picture first – asexuality
Asexuality is a definition or self-determination of people, who partially, or completely not feel sexual desire.
Asexuality is not a conscious abstinence in the presence of sexual desire. Is the lack of desire of sexual interaction, a life without sex. People who consider themselves asexual, have no aversion to sex, not opposed to intimacy and not advocating celibacy. This is not a story about the complex. don’t need sex. And it’s not a conscious decision, and the orientation, which for most will seem different from the “standard”.
Asexual people feel attraction of the opposite sex. Tactile contact, such as kissing, hugging, important to them no less than others. But all these expressions of location, nothing to do with sexual attraction. Asexual don’t see the point, do not attach importance to the sexual contact. One of them is not necessary, others may be unpleasant.
Why is it so?
The cause of asexuality is not having sex, how comfortable you think they are. Here is often no trace of childhood, effects of a negative first experience or fact of violence, although 100% of these causes are not excluded. Asexual does not suffer from their asexuality. Rather, the discomfort and humiliation they cause conversations and condemnation of a society that cannot come to terms with their atypical.
The environment used to think that asexual is something wrong – for example, it is disguised homosexuality or frigidity, or secret complexes.
To make it easier to understand (and not conjecture), asexuality can be divided into 4 types:
- The sexual instinct is, there is no attraction. Such people know that sex is fun, but don’t feel like it. Or think it’s unpleasant. This can be compared to fishing or hunting: to some it brings delight, and someone’s not denying it and understands, but does not need.
- There is sexual attraction, but the instinct is weak or missing. Asexual this type fall in love, get closer emotionally, spiritually. But don’t feel the need for sexual contact.
- Missing all the attraction and instinct. Such people are able to sincerely make friends, but not to fall in love.
- Is the attraction and instinct. Desire is satisfied by Masturbation, but sex with a partner is considered unacceptable for one reason or another.
Depending on the type of asexuality is possible to identify its causes. For example, in the absence and attraction, and instinct likely the cause of a medical nature – violation of the thyroid gland, hormonal imbalance.
In some cases, not excluded, and psychological reasons. The loss of some forms of sensitivity may talk about the injury or about obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Also asexual can adhere to certain moral or religious beliefs that prohibit sexual contact.
Scene two – celibacy
Voluntary or involuntary abstinence from sex is the theme, which is more filled with stereotypes and myths than real value. Each of us in life can be a period when we are alone. Anything temporary loneliness, divorce, prolonged meditation somewhere on the edge of the world, the birth of a child, stress.
During this time, with a healthy body anything that describe in different sources will not occur. Nervous system nothing fatal will happen, and physiology will also remain unchanged. In this situation, again the pressure coming from the society with the beloved stereotype of the “everyone should have sex.” God forbid you currently do not need it – you most likely will establish the diagnosis and will convince you that something is wrong.
And here it is, fertile ground for depression – “everything is normal, but to me something is wrong.” And even if you lived well for some time without sex or sublimated active in the work, or preparing for a sporting event – anything, and it was harmonious! – you are now ready to take hasty actions, only to again become “his” and “normal”.
The third picture – there is a problem
It is important to understand that private life is solely up to you, your body and care. It does not require any “help”, or subtraction where new norms and rules. Important here is honesty with yourself and truthful answer to the question – “how do I feel without sex”. If all goes well, if you are experiencing discomfort and emotional distress – relax. We are all different. One man – a life without sex, another incredibly rich sex life.
Another question, if forced celibacy bothers you, worries you want to understand the situation.
- Of sexual relations not because of injury. Thoughts about sex lead to negative emotional experiences. In this case, it is best to consult a specialist. The problem is difficult to solve, and by itself it will not work.
- No sex, because you just ended one relationship, and you are ready to start a new one. Let go and do not rush either yourself or the event. More stress will bring endless thoughts about “abnormal” and need sex. Your the need now to recognize themselves in the new reality, eliminate stress and recover. Everything eventually will get better, and the sexual life too.
- Physiological problems. Perhaps after a difficult birth, the thought of sex leads you in horror. A woman may be reluctant intimacy within six months after giving birth – and it is in the normal range. The body lacks estrogen – in this regard, there is a tangible physical discomfort. You are afraid to damage the postpartum stitches – in this case, you can directly ask the doctor when to stop being afraid. In the end, you may be “not sex”, you don’t sleep well, worried and getting used to a new happy reality. Don’t panic, everything will be fine.
Of course, sex is an important part of a relationship between a man and a woman. But, practicing a life without sex, consciously or forced doing without it at some period, not too to overestimate the possible consequences. Solve personal problem when she is there, not when you reported the society. If your life now, you can do a lot:
- Increase your physical activity. The body is in good shape that is certainly necessary for your immune system.
- To be creative is the best method of sublimation of the libido.
- To work out and get to know yourself better, visit a psychologist or a sexologist. Consultation with a specialist should not be neglected and underestimated them. This is probably the best step toward the realization and reconciliation with him.
- To enjoy life here and now – to learn the gift to rejoice in the moment, without undue expectations and invented anxieties.