First and foremost, online Dating is a technology. It is important to understand that the Internet is not a matchmaker. It will not guess our desires will not be to acutely observe our unique human qualities and distinguish us “timid soul.” We will not recommend to anyone and will not put in a good word for us. And even more to invite us for “tea” in good company or get a job in a Department where many colleagues of the opposite sex.
To understand what “quality results”, we must articulate for ourselves, what do we want to? Romantic acquaintance? A serious relationship? Sex? Communication? Attention? If we want to get the result in the form “they lived long and happily and died in one day,” it is likely we will be disappointed. The fact that this glorious plan has many hidden pitfalls that few others are obvious.
First, it is generally a few manage to survive together happily ever after. Second, even if this fails, it is irrelevant to the Dating process, it is rather a kind of statistical luck, which in reality takes place in the course of a lifetime. In any case, statistically this possibility on the Internet is much higher than on the street. Imagine — you go down the street and meet in the questionnaire, the questionnaire… How many of them will have to “browse” until you find a suitable to discover a candidate? And then how much time it will take to communicate, to understand what “happily ever after” didn’t quite work out? Or that he is perfect “not”? Therefore, it is necessary to have patience and to learn to choose.
The choice is complicated. For this first you have to imagine someone you don’t want. It’s usually easier than to formulate one they want. Do not want — well, then, it seems, everything is clear: maniacs, morons, youngsters… Some direct and write in the questionnaire: “I don’t want to…” and then a list. This profile just want to shut because it is full of negations and negative. What you don’t want have a clear idea, not to write about it in the questionnaire. But oddly enough, usually and in this particular clarity does not happen. Because, in order that clarity is there, we need experience.
But the unknown scares — mind the time on the unfortunate encounter, humiliating to admit his loneliness. If we cannot find the man or woman of your dreams on the Internet, another problem arises — how can he or she be like? It is also often a very difficult task.
Step by step instructions
What is “our job” to do to a soulless Internet machine worked correctly?
1. To describe myself
Few people know how. Try to describe yourself so that someone could like. Immediately confronted with unforeseen difficulties. “It” is not interesting. About “it” are generally not allowed to tell anyone. “It” is too personal. As a result, the boys turns out something like, “I’m Bob, I like beer” and girls have “I’m different”. The most typical version of the “About when”, “I’m a woman and therefore I am an actress”, Kostya — without harmful habits, I dream about family,” that is, nothing that would anyone in their right mind be interested in. It is best to try to describe herself as of a third person. The eyes of someone who knows you well and loves. Then immediately pop up things that you would never mention, but which give live details. It is important to remember that every word written in the application form, can “work”: someone call the desire to respond someone to close the questionnaire. Can be the negative consequences of an unexpected nature: if you mention that you live alone in a large apartment, you can expect a lot of feedback from the provincial of fans and admirers. The housing problem is still very relevant, so for many, this is a serious motivation.
In the text it is desirable to place what makes you special, unique. Even if all you can do is bake delicious pancakes, this should be definitely mentioned: for some it can be the deciding factor.
It is not necessary to write formal things: “I Love cinema, theatre, meeting with friends”. Do tell, how about you respond to the friends. To describe the elect or the darling. The important thing here is to ask some essential characteristics. You can try to do it too, from the “third person”: as your best friend or the friend described the man you want? Sometimes it’s a very easy life. The most important is to clearly understand what is important to us. When we understand what we are looking for, it miraculously begins to be.
2. Post your pics
Fear that we will see on the Dating site colleagues or superiors, is usually frightening. We consider it humiliating to be in the category of those who do not have a personal life. Why? What prevents yourself to honestly admit that this question requires different solution? Why is it necessary to hide from others? After all, openly much more likely to find someone. Not a good idea to post photos processed in photoshop. They are often strongly distort the original, which leads to frustration. The shots where you are in the company of the opposite sex, is also not suitable. It is important to be able to see not only the face, but the figure — if such photos no, it is best to place two or one face and the other upright. For the female profiles you can suggest additional photos in a swimsuit.
For male profiles is not a good idea to be photographed on the background of their cars is immediately mocked. If the car is good and expensive, then it is considered an “extension member,” the way in which men try to improve their attractiveness. It is best to post photos portrait plan and several others in addition. Some kind of emotion on the face, such as smile, but it would be better that the photo was among others with a calm expression. The person who is looking the questionnaire, it is important to see us in a tranquil state because of emotions or faces always leave a lot of opportunities for subjective interpretation.
3. Fill the other sections of the questionnaire
In the questionnaire there are several specified sections, for example: “What I will do in free day”. It would be good to fill it myself, without using the fact that there are, and make it also through the eyes of friends so it will be easier to remember that a day you happen to be happy to walk to collect autumn leaves and then make amazing songs is the obvious to you a trifle, which may be for someone very attractive.
An important part of music. Many pay attention to their musical preferences denote like-mindedness and compatibility. Even more significant section of sexuality. It is usually, not filled with girls, and it is in vain. Marked sexual preference, or, conversely, lack of experience can be decisive. Nothing shameful or humiliating in this, hide their interests or preferences are absolutely no one. As those who read carefully interested in the question, wanting to achieve results. And those who are not interested, are unlikely to explore in the questionnaire.
Girls over 30 are interested in sex seriously, it is in vain to ignore the young years of 19. The main mistake is the belief that among young people there “interesting people”, provided the material and the housing, or not serious partners, “worthy of respect”. In fact it is absolutely not true.
A romantic story happened in my eyes. A young woman jokingly met a boy aged 16. He was a wonderful guy, guitarist, incredibly romantic and sweet, absolutely irresistible looks and tireless in sex. At the age of 19 he proposed to her, she changed her 1-room apartment 2-room, and they are going to get married this year. So if you value sexuality, you try to destroy stereotypes, sometimes it turns out to be incredibly effective.
The same goes for men — some of them are quite exclusive individuals, incredibly active and sporty, wise and appreciate the woman as the lost adventurers. Pay no attention to the fans pozuboskalit. They are in real life, but online they feel more unpunished, so they behave more boldly. Need to think of them as a necessary evil, simply ignoring because nothing wrong or unnatural in this.
Moreover, sometimes it is their way to draw attention to themselves. Get nasty to someone, you can sometimes challenge him to a dialogue, and then become white and fluffy and thus to meet you. So don’t take CADS and scoff at their own expense — they play as they can. Just do not understand very well the rules of this game and its meaning. It is boring — will have to shovel a sufficient amount of “material” to find a few nuggets in the rough.
Age does not play a big role. The mother of my friend of 59 years, regularly met the world wide web. Her 20-year-old daughter in moments such meetings were ruthlessly driven out into the street to “walk” because mom is now “personal life”. It is not necessary in the Internet to demonstrate something from the category of “I’m not like that” or “I don’t like this” is most interesting. Better to be yourself, and maximally truthfully representing yourself in the system. Then, maybe, it is our “happily ever after” all surprisingly, examples of this is actually quite a lot.
Irina Solovyova, a psychologist:
“And who do not want big and light love?..”
About online Dating really is a lot of prejudice. Almost all of my friends, knowing that I’m on a Dating site reacted about the same: “Fi-I!” Then added with a degree of embarrassment: “Well, I was there too, of course there are…” Prejudice is strong, but lately they are losing ground.