Unfortunately, situations in which the companion gets in a new relationship – not uncommon. To accept the fact of change is excruciatingly painful. Even harder to realize the recognition of the fact that her husband loved another. In your life now is the difficult period when you don’t know how to do the right thing – whether the fight for relationship or let go of a cheating husband, on all four sides. On the one hand, his injured self-esteem and resentment interfere with adequate interaction with the man, and on the other hand – the fear of losing a loved one is pushing for the idea of reconciliation.
I don’t quite understand what you mean about fighting for the relationship. The heat of the moment can be mangled a lot of firewood, what then bitterly regret, not receiving the desired result. Often this struggle is understood as active actions and moral press.
For women it is extremely important that the man realize how much he betrayed her and how unbearable the pain caused. In the course are tears, blackmail, intimate conversations to find out what the other one is better and what exactly you did not suit him.
As a rule, the man rarely shows a sense of guilt. Instead of repentance, the woman sees the opposite result – frustration and unwillingness to discuss the relationship that leads her to even more desperate.
Presenting the man an ultimatum, be prepared to separation. The partner may blame the woman that she had been given less time, sexual intimacy has become routine and bland, and the relationships themselves are becoming obsolete. Even if a grain of truth in such declarations is, by the claims themselves seem to be very childish and more like protection.
On “fight for the relationship” often pushes and fear of losing a loved one. In this case, women often begin to behave like a rival, “adulterer’s”, trying to “outdo” her, to be better, to please and gratify the spouse. Typically, this method is ineffective to return so life is not possible.
When first stable relationship was under threat, it is perceived as a loss of life points at all. A sense that the world has collapsed, can permanently knock the woman off balance, so make decisions when emotions are in full swing, it is not necessary. At this stage, the task is to get out of the traumatic situation as soon as possible and with minimal losses.
Do not dig deep into what is wrong with you: reasons why husband interested in another woman, can be many, ranging from sexual interest to serious intentions. He still really doesn’t know where this relationship will lead.
It took very little time to draw any conclusions. If it’s a passion, flirting, husband will stay, but if he really loved another woman, to get him back will fail no matter what you do. To get into the head of your partner and understand his desire and motives, you can not, and therefore drop it.
Neutrality is the most reasonable position. So you give time to themselves and to the partner to understand what is happening and whether it makes sense to work towards maintaining the relationship, or be exempt from them.
To survive alone in this difficult situation, the probability of getting stuck in the experiences. Connect with friends and visit places which will help smooth out the negative, bring distraction into your life. Any Hobbies, training, new contacts may be beneficial for your condition. Of course, it may seem difficult to implement, because in this mood a little that pleases. But we should not give up trying, sooner or later you will again get pleasure from life. As Tchaikovsky said, “If you can not find a motive for joy, look at others. Go to the people. Look how he knows how to have fun, giving yourself completely joyful feelings”. This does not mean that you will be able to “jump over” the feeling of pain or to suppress it: you can only mitigate it.
Any parting, whether temporary or permanent is loss. It comes with its own psychological stages that you have to go. After the shock comes the stage of resentment and anger, what you are experiencing now. This is a natural and resource status. Rather, they may become so, if you make an effort to move on.