Unfortunately, the psychologist will usually ask after the cheating took place and it won’t hide. The family begins an open conflict, the relationship is on the brink of collapse, it could lead to adultery. Keep the family in such a situation is problematic, and it remains only to pronounce the sacramental: “Well, where were you earlier?!”.
According to various surveys, only a very small percentage change can sometimes be impulsive. Stories such as “accidentally was found; then the flames of passion; and then it happened” is good for the series, but in reality, the proportion of such change only 5-7%. As a rule, the willingness to change is matured for a long time, and lead to change can a variety of reasons.
Here is the ranking of the most common reasons is infidelity. It is based on my experience working as a family psychologist.
1. Revenge, retaliation
Interestingly, often the real treason is the answer to invented (unconfirmed) indelity to him/her too frivolous behavior with the opposite sex.
Such cheating happens when one partner in a marriage is going through inferiority complex; deep sense of failure (emotional, sexual, role, etc.). And spouse this inferiority complex usually supports actively, constantly belittling a partner. In such change sex are usually not important, looks for emotional warmth and support.
Cheating happens when informed a loved one begins to be perceived as “empty space”. Partner no longer meets our key needs. Informed linking positive emotions wear off, there is only a boring everyday monotony. Frustrating when cheating is often a trial balloon, an attempt to find a new partner (to replace the old one) for a lasting relationship.
4. Cheating as a medicine
Every person in one way or another, there are fears associated with physical aging and death. Especially much they aktualisierte in the second half of life; and if we are faced with a serious illness and/or injury. In such situations, cheating is a way to feel alive and “even for someone attractive” person.
5. Entertainment, leisure
Spouses can have different values and attitudes towards how sex in marriage should be strictly private (only between spouses) or allowed an open relationship outside of marriage. If these settings match, then there is no problem. But if one spouse thinks it has the right to the left (for the sake of new experiences and relaxation) and the other strongly against it, problems and conflicts can not be avoided.
Forewarned is forearmed. Knowing the most common causes of cheating, you can analyze your today’s relationship. And if you are at risk, and to improve the relationship or break them – without waiting for unpleasant surprises like adultery.