The trauma of love. Check-list for self-help

The trauma of love. Check-list for self-help

The trauma of love – a state that occurs after a difficult or traumatic relationships. There are many ways that help to heal. Sometimes they are useful in themselves, sometimes help only in conjunction with therapy.

  • 1. Stand in an active position in relation to the injury. Resist the position of sacrifice and submission to injury. Be active. Do what is good for you. Remember: the more you think about the trauma, the greater it becomes. Suffer lying is only useful when you need to “authorisati”.
  • 2. Reoriented toward the vision of the present and work on it. Change it, add to it, go for it.
  • 3. Move to that vision regardless of how you feel in yourself forces on it or not. Fke it “Poddelegate it until you do it.”
  • 4. – live in the present. Move the trauma of love in the past and leave it there.
  • 5. You have the right to be happy. Get rid of the garbage in your head. It’s just the brain’s response to life’s threats, but this is something that does not help in moving towards your preferred future.
  • 6. Break the circuit between the expectations you had from the relationship and what really happened. Life is unfair. Replace the anger to disappointment in the partner.
  • 7. Accept the fact that love is vulnerable. Why did you decide that this could not possibly happen to you?
  • 8. Wounds do not kill. But not make you stronger. Do not let the injury to grow and infect everything. The wound – a sign that it’s time to grieve the loss.
  • 9. Make that your mantra.
  • 10. If you can’t sleep more than 20 minutes, get up and do quiet things. When you want to sleep – go back. Get up, if can not sleep again.
  • 11. To feel that your abuser deserves to be punished, and strive to become an instrument of retaliation – to a miscellaneous..
  • 12. Focus on your desire romantic love.
  • 13. Pass a medical examination. Make a schedule of physical activity that is suitable for you.
  • 14. Boost , narrow negative.
  • 15. Not isolated. Not going to people. Maintain contacts with family and friends. Inform them about what you are going through.
  • 16. Find your “religion”.
  • 17. Injury love is not large enough to kill her years.
  • 18. Give yourself a smile and moments of joy.
  • 19. Keep your defeatism, but if you suspect depression, consult a doctor.
  • 20. You can find love. Don’t let the trauma of love make you feel that you are not worthy of it.
  • 21. Avoid drugs, alcohol , and promiscuity as ways to cope with the pain.
  • 22. about love. Worry along with it joy and pain.
  • 23. Find (remember) other experiences and emotions but pain.
  • 24. Restore your self esteem and your strength. Find a specialist who will help you to understand why the trauma of love was so destructive.
  • 25. Create a personal “club support”. Let it be in your head. Open admission for all who support you and who are optimistic about your future.
    Close the entrance to the club of those who criticized you (of course, wanting only the best for you), to blame and shame you, trying to correct you (of course, then you are better).
  • 26. Get a Treasury of completed projects. Put it awards, certificates, or just your notes about what you managed, what new skill you have mastered.
  • 27. If you were paired up with a person who has caused you pain, go into the steam room therapy. Do not get stuck in the game “you are guilty, and I expect redress”, get out of it by clarifying the incident and change of plans for the future.
  • 28. Transform the trauma of love in the growth point. Reconsider this point, not as the moment began to capsize your life, and as the moment that launched you into another vector of life.
  • 29. Give yourself time to heal. Maybe it will take months and even years. But don’t give your suffering fully and permanently. In parallel with the process of healing go to the future and realise your plans and dreams.
  • 30. and begin to tell their surroundings about their experiences. Perhaps your experience will help other people to experience that. You might write a series of posts or even a book. Maybe you will create a support group or charity. We are not alone in your pain, many people need to receive information both from experts and from those who lived it.

And don’t read the bloggers!