These 5 nasty markers would help to recognize a toxic relationship

These 5 nasty markers would help to recognize a toxic relationship

It is difficult for us to live without other people, but interacting with them can bring not only positive emotions, but also toxic effects. Insults, rudeness, devaluation and manipulation could cause serious psychological trauma. Sometimes it is necessary to think about the fact that communication time to finish.

Relying on common sense, each of us will easily jot down a rather long list of “toxic” phrase, on hearing which, it would be worthwhile to break contact for a while or even at all. And certainly will accurately indicate the alarm bells in the form of manipulative or abusive language. Especially if we are talking about someone else, and not the circumstances of our personal history.

However, once it comes to analyzing their own relationships, it becomes much less obvious.

  • Devalues a comment from an old friend – it’s a reason to distance themselves or to show empathy and find out what caused such a reaction?
  • Partner avoids contact of the fifth day in a row – all pack our bags, trying to reach straight talk in silence or wait another week or two?
  • The chief again called sweetie or dear, and the rest for my name, it is as an expression of sympathy or an excuse to quit?

The relationship is a complex dynamic process in which simple recipes do not work in a straight line.

Common to all schemes of action simply does not exist. No wonder the experts in the field of mental health during consultations devote long hours to clarify all contexts in the client’s life. And almost never give tips.

Any communication more pleasant and healthier if everyone participates in it according to his own will and choice. Well, if everyone is interested, the relationship is non-toxic, no nobody is manipulating, not misleading and does not. Of course, not everything is always going well, from time to time it happens everyone in a bad mood and troubles. It is important to pay attention to the patterns formed in contact with others.

Making a decision about whether or not to continue communication, I propose to focus not on the specific phrase and the sensations that you experience in the process.

Toxic markers. It should be wary if:

1. Words, phrases, and General tone of the conversation is unpleasant to you, hurt, hurt, emotionally exhaust you.

This kind of communication is to interrupt as soon as possible – gently or abruptly, either temporarily or permanently. Stay in touch, which brings you suffering, is bad for your psychological health. This . In an unstable state and you lose the ability to objectively assess the situation and adequately to react. Everyone has their own pain points, if it hit your interrupt communication. Reassured, you will be able to more sober look at what happened and make an informed decision about what to do next.

2. The situation is repeated many times, despite your requests.

Let’s say the contact is important to you, communication is necessary or inevitable, the man himself you for some reason expensive, you can contact him with the explanation that such statements and topics of conversation are unpleasant to you and ask you not to do that. Respecting the person you certainly will meet you. If your request is ignored, and statements repeatedly, complete communication.

3. Communication is asymmetrical.

Ignore you, do not delve into said, the right words or behaviour show that you are not interested, clearly waiting for when you finish talking, interrupt or change the subject. Let derogatory comments about your manner of speech, mental abilities, encouraging you to speak less. Sometimes the imbalance can be justified, for example, when you yourself have an interest in some person you are looking for it companies. If this format was not defined in advance, the asymmetry is a reason to break contact.

4. Manipulation, pressure, acceleration of a rhythm of communication, reducing the distance.

You may have a feeling of unreality. It seems that you do not have time for the interlocutor, as if you are forced to agree with something that you haven’t thought about. You can literally hurry with the decision to impose the uncomfortable style of communication. For example, without consent, go for you to ask very personal questions, to use obscene language. If you get the feeling that if you control the conversation, and you just followed, succumbing to the pressure, do everything possible to increase the distance.

5. You directly or indirectly let me know that communication is undesirable.

In this case, it should distance itself from those who do not want to contact with you. If you need to preserve the relationship, give the man time, maybe later, he will choose to resume the communication.