In nature, there is a rather sad examples of developments after the completion of the family: the female praying mantis do not have to worry about the relationship, because she bites off the male’s head during mating and eats it after sexual intercourse. Fortunately, women don’t treat their men so badly, but some dads and human babies have a difficult life.
It would seem that the months of pregnancy with morning sickness, heartburn and heaviness in back and legs, painful childbirth and the “charm” of establishing breastfeeding, they were not familiar with. So what are they complaining about? After the baby is born even the happiest father expects the whims of the wife left behind, and covers her regular hormonal storm. Family ignite new conflicts. Men don’t get enough attention, warmth and sex, as well as an understanding of what is happening and when this is all over.
And women don’t understand men. A push partner on the back burner, believing that they, unlike a child, able to take care of themselves. Moms head to go into education, read books, attend courses, attend classes in early development, and about fathers… forget it.
Indeed, the most important thing for mothers is to care for the baby. But the key to its good health and welfare of the child – a healthy relationship with others and especially with his father. Just remember that for the baby is important both parents and their behavior – the primary model for him.
Forewarned is forearmed!
The coming crisis in the relations necessary to prepare for during pregnancy. Practice shows that the more optimistic expectations was the couple before the birth of the child, the greater the disappointment befell them after. If a future Pope realizes that for the first time will not be easy, he will need the help of partial rejection of their own interests, it will behave accordingly. Visit the special courses, visit friends who have successfully passed the test of parenthood, and don’t forget that all these difficulties are temporary.
There is nothing wrong with that you leave the baby with grandma and go to the movies or watch a movie at home, having laid the baby to sleep. At least once a week to arrange a romantic evening for the two of you. Delicious food, beautiful clothes and appropriate attitude required. Every day try to spend a minute of my husband to drink a Cup of tea and learn about his business.
Not only talk about the baby. Remember that you have other interests. Insert in between a kind word, give chance a gentle touch, and try to be tolerant and not to overwhelm him with reproaches. He, like you, only develops new “profession.”
Get letters from young mothers notice that they are at a loss from his reduced libido: “During the pregnancy we had such passion, and now I sleep with my husband “don’t want””. This is for a variety of reasons. The hormone prolactin is responsible for breast feeding, suppresses the production of estrogen, and the desire to spend the night in the ardent embrace of her husband disappears. Complex because of the changes his own body to prevent chill, and severe fatigue works better than any sleeping pills.
But this does not mean that you need to evict the husband from the next room. Perhaps the issues are connected with an already existing tensions. Look for inspiration, be creative, tune in the desired fashion and ask the man to help you with this. A few hours rest, a few minutes of massage a couple of compliments – and the hormones will give up.
Ask for help and ask right! “You even get up from the couch?! I run all day, as if stung, do not sleep at night and day do not sit down. Go though the dust wipe!!!” – gently dioricet wife. What man, after this monologue, go to wipe dust? Rare.
Much more effective is the appeal: “Dear, you know that you, too, want to relax, but I’m very tired. Help me please with the cleaning or look after the baby and then I’ll cook us something delicious.” All the request compares favorably with the charges in her absence. Your goal is to support, not another quarrel, and, even if the claims are true, preferably friendly tone.
Signs of depression
You not the happy young mother? Worth checking out if you have postpartum depression. Here are her symptoms:
- increased tearfulness;
- inadequate response to a child crying and alienation from him;
- aversion to sex;
- aggression towards others;
- the feeling of helplessness, insecurity, hopelessness;
- thoughts of suicide.
If most of the symptoms are there, be sure to seek help from a specialist. Can’t mess with that because depressed mothers not only spoil her life. This condition has a very negative effect on the health and development of the baby, and relationship with spouse.
A simple secret
Many psychologists, pediatricians and experienced parents agree that the secret of family happiness – the active involvement of the Pope to the care of the child. It is desirable that the father was able to put the baby to sleep, change clothes, change the diaper. Let the little child dad, providing him with detailed instructions “for application,” and they finally take a bath. If something goes wrong, they will let you know.
Why strain her husband, already tired after work? First, it is important to establish the father’s connection and the awakening of parental instinct, and secondly, dad will be able to experience what “a day to sit at home” with the child. And everything falls into place: the mood of the mother rises, relationships improve, but dad would understand that it still need… and how!
The birth of the baby, contrary to popular belief, not only great happiness but also a real test for the family. If the pair passes through this test, it becomes stronger, if not falling apart. Divorce statistics after the completion of the family not very encouraging, but, as they say, is in our hands.